Monday, February 21, 2011

Pening

Kod Rahsia Duit 100 China
Published on December 31, 2010 by HipTV · No Comments

Mungkin tidak ramai dari korang yang tahu sebenarnya diatas duit 100 China terdapat kod untuk mengenal pasti ketulenan duit berkenaan. Foto di bawah merupakan foto duit 100 China yang telah dibesarkan menggunakan microskop.


5 Minute Management Course

5 Minute Management Course







Lesson 1:


A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.


The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.


When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor.


Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.'



After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.



The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs..


When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?'


'It was Bob the next door neighbour,' she replies.


'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?'




Moral of the story:


If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.




Lesson 2:



A priest offered a Nun a lift..


She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.


The priest nearly had an accident.


After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.


The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'


The priest removed his hand But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.

The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'


The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.'


Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily

and went on her way.


On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'


Moral of the story:

If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.




Lesson 3:


A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp..


They rub it and a Genie comes out.

The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.'

'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.'

Puff! She's gone.


'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.'


Puff! He's gone.


'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager..

The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after

lunch.'



Moral of the story:

Always let your boss have the first say.


Lesson 4



An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.


A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?'

The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.'


So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.


Moral of the story:

To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.





Lesson 5


A turkey was chatting with a bull..


'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.'

'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients.'


The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.


The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.


Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.


He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.



Moral of the story:

Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there..




Lesson 6



A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.


While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.


As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was.


The dung was actually thawing him out!


He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.

A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.


Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.



Morals of the story:

(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.


(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your

friend.


(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep

your mouth shut!



THUS ENDS THE FIVE MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE

RENUNGKANLAH

SEKETUL KEJU DAN SEHELAI TUALA KECIL
oleh: Ustazah Noorbayah Mahmood.KREDIT UNTUK PENULIS

Seorang gadis datang menemui Rasulullah dengan tangan kanannya disorokkan ke dalam poket bajunya. Dari raut wajahnya, anak gadis ini sedang menanggung kesakitan yang amat sangat. Lalu Rasulullah menegurnya.

"Wahai anakku, kenapa wajahmu menampakkan kamu sedang kesakitan dan apa yang kamu sorokkan di tanganmu?"

Lalu gadis malang inipun menceritakan hal yang berlaku padanya :- "Ya,Rasulullah, sesungguhnya aku adalah anak yatim piatu. Malam tadi aku telah bermimpi dan mimpiku itu telah membuatkan aku menanggung kesakitan ini." Balas gadis tadi.

"Jika tidak jadi keberatan, ceritakanlah mimpimu itu wahai anakku."

Rasulullah mula tertarik dengan penjelasan gadis tersebut."Aku bermimpi berjumpa ibuku di dalam neraka.

Keadaannya amat menyedihkan. Ibuku meminta diberikan air kerana dia amat dahaga kerana kepanasan api neraka itu hingga peluh tidak sempat keluar kerana kekeringan sekelip mata." Gadis itu berhenti seketika menahan sebak.

"Kemudian kulihat ditangan kirinya ada seketul keju dan ditangan kanannya ada sehelai tuala kecil.Beliau mengibas-ngibaskan kedua-dua benda tersebut untuk menghalang api dari membakar tubuhnya. Lantas aku bertanya ibuku, kenapa dia menerima balasan sebegitu
rupa sedangkan ketika hidupnya ibuku adalah seorang hamba yang patuh dengan ajaran islam dan isteri yang taat kepada suaminya?

Lalu ibuku memberitahu bahawa ketika hidupnya dia amat bakhil. Hanya dua benda itu sahaja iaitu seketul keju dan sehelai tuala kecil pernah disedekahkan kepada fakir. Yang lainnya hanya untuk bermuka-muka dan menunjukkan kelebihan hartanya sahaja.

Lalu aku terus mencari ayahku. Rupanya beliau berada di syurga dan sedang menjamu penghuni syurga dengan makanan yang lazat dan minuman dari telaga nabi.

Ayahku memang amat terkenal kerana sikapnya yang dermawan dan kuat beramal. Lalu aku bertanya kepada ayahku. "Wahai ayah, ibu sedang kehausan dan menaggung azab di neraka.Tidakkah ayah ingin membantu ibu sedangkan di dunia kulihat ibu amat mentaatimu dan menurut perintah agama.
Lalu dijawab oleh ayahnya. Sesungguhnya beliau dan semua penghuni syurga telah dilarang oleh Allah dari memberi walau setitik air kepada isterinya kerana itu adalah pembalasan untuk kebakhilan yang dilakukan ketika didunia.

Oleh kerana kasihan melihat azab yang diterima oleh ibuku, aku lantas menceduk sedikit air mengguna tapak tangan kananku lalu dibawa ke neraka. Belum sempat air tersebut mencecah bibir ibuku, api neraka telah menyambar tanganku sehingga melecur.

Seketika itu juga aku tersedar dan mendapati tapak tanganku melecur teruk. Itulah sebabnya aku datang berjumpa engkau ya Rasulullah." Panjang lebar gadis itu bercerita sambil airmatanya tidak henti-henti mengalir dipipi.

Rasulullah kemudian meletakkan tongkatnya ke tapak tangan gadis tersebut lalu menadah tangan, berdoa memohon petunjuk dari Allah. Jika sekiranya mimpi gadis tersebut adalah benar maka disembuhkanlah agar menjadi iktibar kepada beliau dan semua umat islam.

Lalu berkat kebesaranNya tangan gadis tersebut sembuh. Rasulullah lantas berkata, "Wahai anakku, pulanglah. Banyakkan bersedekah dan berzikir dan pahalanya kau berikan kepada ibumu.Mudah- mudahan segala dosanya terampun.

INSYALLAH"

"WAR-WARKANLAH KPD SELURUH UMAT MUHAMMAD UNTUK SECEBIS PEDOMAN AGAR TIDAK MENGAMAL SIKAP KEBAKHILAN TERHADAP SESAMA MANUSIA..."

BAGAIMANA NAK MENGHASILKAN PEMIKIRAN KREATIVE

1. MINAT
2. MINAT
3. MINAT

Sejak bermulanya KMK di Malaysia pada tahun 1983 lagi maka era KMK sudah digantikan dengan era baru KIK pula!

Panduan mengenai Kumpulan Inovatif dan Kreatif (KIK) ini atau bahasa Ingerisnya adalah Innovative and Creative Circle (ICC) telah diumumkan oleh pihak MAMPU dan boleh di “download” juga dengan pdf file nya.WAH SENANGNYE.BOLE BAYAR SAMAN TAK?